Ask me Quote by Mitch Hedberg

“People ask me for my autograph after a show. I'm not famous, I think they're messing with me. I think they're trying to make me late for something.” quote by Mitch Hedberg — Download Open image

“People ask me for my autograph after a show. I'm not famous, I think they're messing with me. I think they're trying to make me late for something.”

Mitch Hedberg

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I like wearing necklaces, because it lets me know when I'm upside down.

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I'm sick of Soup Of The Day, man. It's time we make a decision. I need to know what Soup From Now On is.

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I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know anybody who…

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I don't know how to fix a car. If the car breaks down, and the gas tank does not say "E", I'm screwed. But…

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I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

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What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know we never give them a chance, what the fuck is a sesame?! It's a street...…

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I'm an ice sculptor. Last night I made a cube.

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I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, "Pass the salt." I said, "Screw you! Sit closer to the salt."

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