"Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr.……" — Mitch Hedberg
"Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper. Dude didn't even get his degree."
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Mitch Hedberg
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163 Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg has 163 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.
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Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you…
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I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get…
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I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something picketing, but I don't know how…
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Foosball screwed up my perception of soccer. I though you had to kick the ball and then spin around and…
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If you drink O'Douls, you don't drink; but if you drink 20 O'Douls in a half hour, then you're a…
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I went to a restaurant, and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket, eating a hamburger, drinking a glass…
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What am I drinking? NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable.
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I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations…
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I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time.
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Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!
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Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!
See all 163 quotes by Mitch Hedberg »
More Degree Quotes
This quote is filed under Degree Quotes,
one of 1,888 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right…
— Aristotle
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It takes more than capital to swing business. You've got to have the A. I. D. degree to get by…
— Isaac Asimov
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Confronting a stadium audience, you can't see the whites of their eyes. It's just an amorphous mass of noise and,…
— Rowan Atkinson
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Men have had every advantage of us in telling their own story. Education has been theirs in so much higher…
— Jane Austen
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It will be readily admitted, that a degree conferred by an university, ought to be a pledge to the public…
— Charles Babbage
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I'm not only a lawyer, I have a post doctorate degree in federal tax law from William and Mary. I…
— Michele Bachmann
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Unintelligent persons are like weeds that thrive in good ground; they love to be amused in proportion to the degree…
— Honore de Balzac
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Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
— Ambrose Bierce
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
— Ambrose Bierce
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Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.
— Ambrose Bierce
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There are people who say, 'Oh this guy is quite thick.' I think the reason is that, increasingly, I don't…
— Alain de Botton
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Nothing can happen nowhere. The locale of the happening always colours the happening, and often, to a degree, shapes it.
— Elizabeth Bowen
See all 1,888 Degree Quotes »