"If you are flammable and have legs, you……" — Mitch Hedberg
"If you are flammable and have legs, you are not blocking a fire exit."
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Mitch Hedberg
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163 Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg has 163 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.
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Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you…
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I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get…
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I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something picketing, but I don't know how…
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Foosball screwed up my perception of soccer. I though you had to kick the ball and then spin around and…
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If you drink O'Douls, you don't drink; but if you drink 20 O'Douls in a half hour, then you're a…
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I went to a restaurant, and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket, eating a hamburger, drinking a glass…
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What am I drinking? NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable.
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I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations…
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I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time.
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Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!
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Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!
See all 163 quotes by Mitch Hedberg »
More Block Quotes
This quote is filed under Block Quotes,
one of 1,192 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Whenever a toddler sees a pile of blocks, he wants to tear it down.
— J. J. Abrams
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The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
— Dave Barry
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What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to the soul.
— Joseph Addison
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By the time I was a teenager, when I went outside the house, it was about hip-hop all the time.…
— Mary J. Blige
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My God is a God who wants me to have things. He wants me to bling. He wants me to…
— Mary J. Blige
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it…
— Erma Bombeck
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A snowdrift is a beautiful thing - if it doesn't lie across the path you have to shovel or block…
— Hal Borland
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I've been through my highs, I've been through my lows; I've been through the gamut of all things in this…
— Christina Aguilera
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You know, it's kind of a shame in a way but the more seasoned directors a lot of times have…
— Jeff Bridges
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My grandmother and I followed my mother here, to a house a block north of Hollywood Boulevard but a million…
— Carol Burnett
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I've never had writer's block.
— David Byrne
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There is no worse screen to block out the Spirit than confidence in our own intelligence.
— John Calvin
See all 1,192 Block Quotes »