Best interests at heart Quote by Mallory Ortberg

Not wanting to give everyone in your life one of your kidneys is not the same thing as hoping they die of kidney failure.

— Mallory Ortberg

I agree that biphobia is real, but I think it's absolutely worth considering that someone who "despises" having sex with her husband - and…

— Mallory Ortberg

If you get a dog, take care of your dog! You can just not have a dog if you don't feel like taking care…

— Mallory Ortberg

It is so tempting to return rudeness with rudeness!

— Mallory Ortberg

I think that it's a great idea to have honest conversations about children before getting married. I also think it's impossible to promise someone,…

— Mallory Ortberg

Don't beat yourself up over what you dream about.

— Mallory Ortberg

One of the glorious things about being a person in the world is that you don't have to worry about whether or not someone…

— Mallory Ortberg

You need to be able to express your resentment and sense of loss in a way that doesn't damage your partner.

— Mallory Ortberg

Some people give gifts in order to bewilder, confuse, and manipulate their recipients.

— Mallory Ortberg

Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are.

— Mallory Ortberg

The mere idea of asking a family member if they intentionally stopped sending me an annual bonus makes me feel like breaking out in…

— Mallory Ortberg

You have a right to be treated professionally at work, and it's your supervisor's job to make sure all their employees can perform their…

— Mallory Ortberg