I think that it's a great idea to have honest conversations about children before getting married. I also think it's impossible to… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
Don't badger people without children into admitting the secret desire for children you're sure they have to you! Don't badger anyone! Leave… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
A woman who repeatedly asks a man she knows to be gay when he's going to get married and have children is… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
You can't prevent a possible future closeness between your upcoming child and one or more of their grandparents. — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
There's simply no way you can tell a woman you work with that you disapprove of her relationship with her adult child,… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
A child is not a bargaining chip or a learning tool. Your focus, if you adopt a child of a different race,… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
Kids know when they're getting yelled at and mocked, I can assure you. — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
Not wanting to give everyone in your life one of your kidneys is not the same thing as hoping they die of kidney failure. — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
I agree that biphobia is real, but I think it's absolutely worth considering that someone who "despises" having sex with her husband - and… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
If you get a dog, take care of your dog! You can just not have a dog if you don't feel like taking care… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
I think that it's a great idea to have honest conversations about children before getting married. I also think it's impossible to promise someone,… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
One of the glorious things about being a person in the world is that you don't have to worry about whether or not someone… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
You need to be able to express your resentment and sense of loss in a way that doesn't damage your partner. — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
Some people give gifts in order to bewilder, confuse, and manipulate their recipients. — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are. — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
The mere idea of asking a family member if they intentionally stopped sending me an annual bonus makes me feel like breaking out in… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
You have a right to be treated professionally at work, and it's your supervisor's job to make sure all their employees can perform their… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
