I love the art history ones because it's so little work for me. There's so many paintings that when I look at… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
Worrying seems like a fairly natural state of being for a parent, so feel free to worry as much as you want. — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
Anyone who wants to pretend that your Huntington's disease is an invention is someone who does not have your best interests at… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
If you go out with someone and decide you don't want to see them again, do them the courtesy of saying, "Hey,… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
You who have suffered so much do not want to be with the kind of person who makes "black widow" jokes to… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
I do not think it is selfish to want to donate a kidney "only" to family members. — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
Tenancy laws can be so complicated; I want to make sure OP is protected as much as possible. — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
You're right to want to minimize your compulsive physical behavior in the workplace before it bothers your co-workers, but I hope very… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
Not wanting to give everyone in your life one of your kidneys is not the same thing as hoping they die of kidney failure. — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
I agree that biphobia is real, but I think it's absolutely worth considering that someone who "despises" having sex with her husband - and… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
If you get a dog, take care of your dog! You can just not have a dog if you don't feel like taking care… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
I think that it's a great idea to have honest conversations about children before getting married. I also think it's impossible to promise someone,… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
One of the glorious things about being a person in the world is that you don't have to worry about whether or not someone… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
You need to be able to express your resentment and sense of loss in a way that doesn't damage your partner. — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
Some people give gifts in order to bewilder, confuse, and manipulate their recipients. — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are. — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
The mere idea of asking a family member if they intentionally stopped sending me an annual bonus makes me feel like breaking out in… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
You have a right to be treated professionally at work, and it's your supervisor's job to make sure all their employees can perform their… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
