I don't think it's a requirement that a happy, fulfilling relationship also provide the best sex of all time. — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
I hate to get gender essentialist, but I'm starting to think that a lot of married men have some sort of heterosexually… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
I do not think it is selfish to want to donate a kidney "only" to family members. — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
As long as you don't think he's just pretending not to mind for your sake, it sounds like he has truly accepted… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
I agree that biphobia is real, but I think it's absolutely worth considering that someone who "despises" having sex with her husband… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
Anyone who thinks it’s funny to name their network "Tom’sHugeEtc" is going to think it’s funny that one of his neighbors is… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
I don't think unfriending your old crush on Facebook will do much other than remove him from your Facebook feed. Don't beat… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
If you go out with someone and decide you don't want to see them again, do them the courtesy of saying, "Hey,… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
I'm of the opinion that it is always a kind and appropriate decision to get in touch with someone who's lost a… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
As you feel increasingly comfortable around your friends, I think it's more than fine to share the basic details of your heroin… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
There's simply no way you can tell a woman you work with that you disapprove of her relationship with her adult child,… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
I think that it's a great idea to have honest conversations about children before getting married. I also think it's impossible to… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
If your partner asks you if something bothers you, and something bothers you, the best thing you can do is say, "Yes,… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
Depression cannot be overcome by listing a series of good things in one's life, any more than a broken foot can be… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
Not wanting to give everyone in your life one of your kidneys is not the same thing as hoping they die of kidney failure. — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
I agree that biphobia is real, but I think it's absolutely worth considering that someone who "despises" having sex with her husband - and… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
If you get a dog, take care of your dog! You can just not have a dog if you don't feel like taking care… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
I think that it's a great idea to have honest conversations about children before getting married. I also think it's impossible to promise someone,… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
One of the glorious things about being a person in the world is that you don't have to worry about whether or not someone… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
You need to be able to express your resentment and sense of loss in a way that doesn't damage your partner. — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
Some people give gifts in order to bewilder, confuse, and manipulate their recipients. — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are. — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
The mere idea of asking a family member if they intentionally stopped sending me an annual bonus makes me feel like breaking out in… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
You have a right to be treated professionally at work, and it's your supervisor's job to make sure all their employees can perform their… — Mallory Ortberg Copy Share Image
