"I could croak with no warning, and the……" — Laurie Notaro
"I could croak with no warning, and the only tragedy anyone would experience would be showing up on the last day of my estate sale simply to discover that all remaining items had copious amounts of dog hair on them."
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Laurie Notaro
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14 Quotes by Laurie Notaro
Laurie Notaro has 14 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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If you really believe in what you're doing, work hard, take nothing personally, and if something blocks your route, find…
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I want a man as nice as my retarded dog, but one that doesn't crap on the floor.
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Books are to me as homemade tattoos are to an inmate. Can't get enough of them.
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I have more faith in my bra than I have in my accountant.
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Everyone knows there's only one thing less welcome on a stage than a mime, and that's a clown, because everyone…
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Bad boyfriends don't disguise themselves; their girlfriends do it for them.
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Justin Halpern tosses lightning bolts of laughter out of his pocket like he is shooting dice in a back alley.…
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My family were staunch believers in physical violence, not automatic violence, and we had a Safeway around the corner, so…
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You're fighting a battle of good and evil with your dog pimp! Your only weapon is the shimmy! There is…
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I'm nicer on tax day than I am when I'm on deadline.
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I majored in journalism at Arizona State University, where I began writing the columns I write now, but I cannot,…
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I've never really considered doing stand up, but I have done readings/spoken word things fairly often in which I'll just…
See all 14 quotes by Laurie Notaro »
More All Quotes
This quote is filed under All Quotes,
one of 128,558 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Total loyalty is possible only when fidelity is emptied of all concrete content, from which changes of mind might naturally…
— Hannah Arendt
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No cause is left but the most ancient of all, the one, in fact, that from the beginning of our…
— Hannah Arendt
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The ultimate end of human acts is eudaimonia, happiness in the sense of living well, which all men desire; all…
— Hannah Arendt
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The new always happens against the overwhelming odds of statistical laws and their probability, which for all practical, everyday purposes…
— Hannah Arendt
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Where all are guilty, no one is; confessions of collective guilt are the best possible safeguard against the discovery of…
— Hannah Arendt
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We have almost succeeded in leveling all human activities to the common denominator of securing the necessities of life and…
— Hannah Arendt
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I keep my friends as misers do their treasure, because, of all the things granted us by wisdom, none is…
— Pietro Aretino
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We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace.
— Jean-Bertrand Aristide
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The spirit of Ubuntu, that once led Haiti to emerge as the first independent black nation in 1804, helped Venezuela,…
— Jean-Bertrand Aristide
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As we all know, many people remain buried under tons of rubble and debris, waiting to be rescued. When we…
— Jean-Bertrand Aristide
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Wise people, even though all laws were abolished, would still lead the same life.
— Aristophanes
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A friend to all is a friend to none.
— Aristotle
See all 128,558 All Quotes »