"Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on…" — Joan Rivers

More Aspirin Quotes

This quote is filed under Aspirin Quotes, one of 70 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

• America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up… — John Barrymore
• The remedy now is two scotches and an aspirin, I think. — Harry Sinden
• I will lift mine eyes unto the pills. Almost everyone takes them, from the humble aspirin to the multi-colored, king-sized… — Malcolm Muggeridge
• The whole world is drunk and we're just the cocktail of the moment. Someday soon, the world will wake up,… — Dean Martin
• Golf tips are like aspirin. One may do you good, but if you swallow the whole bottle you will be… — Harvey Penick
• Estimates suggest that from 20 to 50 million Americans routinely, albeit illegally, smoke marijuana without the benefit of direct medical… — Frances M. Young
• There is no such thing as a peace of soul approach to religion. It makes of God a gigantic Bayer… — John Powell
• For toddlers I suggest leaving their mittens on year-round, indoors and out. That way they can't get into aspirin bottles,… — P.J. O'Rourke
• A smart mother suggests that her child bring an apple to his teacher; a smarter mother suggests that he bring… — Evan Esar
• A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast. — Groucho Marx
• THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets… — Robert Orben
• If men were equally at risk from this condition - if they knew their bellies might swell as if they… — Barbara Ehrenreich

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