Mayonnaise Quotes

27 quotes by 25 authors

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion. — Ambrose Bierce
I said Yo Jay, I can rap. And I spit this rap that said I'm killin' ya'll *****s on this lyrical sh*t, mayonnaise colored benz,… — Kanye West
Chic is a kind of mayonnaise, either it tastes, or it doesn't. — Karl Lagerfeld
Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin. — Joan Rivers
You don't use mayonnaise, why? ... Are you addicted to mayonnaise? Is it okay if I use mayonnaise? I could go outside... — Jim Gaffigan
I keep looking for ultimate answers, but maybe there aren't any or maybe I'm not looking in the right places, because in the section marked… — Rachel Vail
When this girl at the museum asked me who I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise." She just stared at me,… — Jack Handey
My favorite sandwich is peanut butter, baloney, cheddar cheese, lettuce, and mayonnaise on toasted bread with catsup on the side. — Hubert H. Humphrey
Sometimes it's just 'Oh my God, I love the taste of fried oysters on French bread with mayonnaise and an order of French fries.' I'm… — Richard Simmons
The Japanese have become so smitten with the Western condiment - its texture as silky as a kimono, its tang as understated as the tang… — Tom Robbins
In Germany, salads are assemblies of ham and mayonnaise, not trendy tossed leaves. — Rachel Johnson
Life's like a mayonnaise soda. — Lou Reed
One of my favorite things is mayonnaise and I have to tell you that. I love mayonnaise, but I don't eat it any more. If… — Mike Ditka
Europe's the mayonnaise, but America supplies the good old lobster. — D. H. Lawrence
I'm not a person who writes really abstract things with oblique references. I look at abstraction like I look at condiments. Give me some Tabasco… — Wynton Marsalis
I spent my childhood eating. The only exercise I got was trying to twist off the cap of a jar of mayonnaise. — Richard Simmons
My favorite snack would have to be Fritos, no doubt about it. Fritos and mayonnaise. I know. Really healthy, isn't it? — Sylvester Stallone
Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason. — Robin Williams
I have always wanted to write a book that ended with the word 'mayonnaise. — Richard Brautigan
And oil's not supposed to mix with water. But then someone invented mayonnaise, and wham - instant mixing. — Jackie Morse Kessler

Who Wrote These Mayonnaise Quotes

25 authors contributed a total of 27 Mayonnaise Quotes as follows: