"Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she……" — Joan Rivers
"Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her."
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Joan Rivers
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245 Quotes by Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers has 245 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, 'Marry him. You'll double your wardrobe.'
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I'm so fat and I'm so depressed; last night I tried to hang myself - but the rope broke.
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We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get…
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Grandchildren can be annoying - how many times can you go: "And the cow goes moo and the pig goes…
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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief…
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I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.
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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
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I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
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At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!
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A child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of…
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My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never…
See all 245 quotes by Joan Rivers »
More Board Quotes
This quote is filed under Board Quotes,
one of 755 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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I know that some books and some writers, you can pretty much draw a square around it and say, 'Nobody…
— Margaret Atwood
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Especially in local elections, because hardly anybody pays attention to those - but it's really important who's mayor and who's…
— Jello Biafra
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Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.
— Josh Billings
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction.
— Dietrich Bonhoeffer
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As long as enough people can be frightened, then all people can be ruled. That is how it works in…
— James Bovard
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You look across the board at comedy quiz shows, and they are mainly hosted by men.
— Jo Brand
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A lot of things look good on an academic's blackboard in terms of the actions that need to be taken.…
— John O. Brennan
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School boards are, for the most part ,made up of political wannabes who see a board seat as a stepping…
— Eli Broad
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I am a huge bull on this country. We will not have a double-dip recession at all. I see our…
— Warren Buffett
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I like all of the mental, psychological thriller movies too. I enjoy horror movies across the board.
— Sophia Bush
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The subtle generational cues that make one thing cool and another uncool aren't always obvious to a parent. My children…
— Nolan Bushnell
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I was Chairman of the Federal Reserve Bank of Kansas City. As you know, there are twelve banks and they…
— Herman Cain
See all 755 Board Quotes »