"For toddlers I suggest leaving their mittens on……" — P.J. O'Rourke
"For toddlers I suggest leaving their mittens on year-round, indoors and out. That way they can't get into aspirin bottles, liquor cabinets, or boxes of kitchen matches."
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P.J. O'Rourke
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578 Quotes by P.J. O'Rourke
P.J. O'Rourke has 578 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Marijuana is self-punishing. It makes you acutely sensitive, and in this world, what worse punishment could there be?
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Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your…
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Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.
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The neo-hippie-dips, the sentimentality-crazed iguana anthropomorphizers, the Chicken Littles, the three-bong-hit William Blakes- thank God these people don't actually go…
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There is only one basic human right: the right to do as you please, without causing others harm. With it…
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A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.
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Violence is interesting. This is a great obstacle to world peace and also to more thoughtful television programming.
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Anyhow, all mankind's ideas and interests, all human aims and motives, are exhibited, fully formed, in a three-year-old child. The…
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Zen martini: A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin, either.
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Remember, your body needs 6 to 8 glasses of fluid daily. Straight up or on the rocks.
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Whatever the occasion, do not neglect alcohol. No other refreshment will do. Yes, alcohol kills brain cells, but it's very…
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You can smoke or drink on a golf course without interrupting the game, and you can take a leak -…
See all 578 quotes by P.J. O'Rourke »
More Aspirin Quotes
This quote is filed under Aspirin Quotes,
one of 70 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up…
— John Barrymore
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The remedy now is two scotches and an aspirin, I think.
— Harry Sinden
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I will lift mine eyes unto the pills. Almost everyone takes them, from the humble aspirin to the multi-colored, king-sized…
— Malcolm Muggeridge
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The whole world is drunk and we're just the cocktail of the moment. Someday soon, the world will wake up,…
— Dean Martin
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Golf tips are like aspirin. One may do you good, but if you swallow the whole bottle you will be…
— Harvey Penick
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Estimates suggest that from 20 to 50 million Americans routinely, albeit illegally, smoke marijuana without the benefit of direct medical…
— Frances M. Young
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There is no such thing as a peace of soul approach to religion. It makes of God a gigantic Bayer…
— John Powell
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A smart mother suggests that her child bring an apple to his teacher; a smarter mother suggests that he bring…
— Evan Esar
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A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
— Groucho Marx
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THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets…
— Robert Orben
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Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
— Joan Rivers
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If men were equally at risk from this condition - if they knew their bellies might swell as if they…
— Barbara Ehrenreich
See all 70 Aspirin Quotes »