"Imagine you're drowning, and someone hands you a…" — Jim Gaffigan
"Imagine you're drowning, and someone hands you a baby."
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Jim Gaffigan
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99 Quotes by Jim Gaffigan
Jim Gaffigan has 99 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Oh great, socks. You know I'm dying for your sins right? Yeah, but thanks for the socks! They'll go great…
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Bacon bits are like the fairy dust of the food community.
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There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your…
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Whenever one of my children says, 'Goodnight, Daddy,' I always think to myself, 'You don't mean that.
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Hey, people who travel with their bed pillow. You look insane.
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Failing and laughing at your own shortcomings are the hallmarks of a sane parent.
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Without Valentine's Day, February would be... well, January.
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It's so obvious The Weather Channel is pro hurricane. Fair and balanced my ass.
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Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how…
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Raising kids may be a thankless job with ridiculous hours, but at least the pay sucks.
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There were times in my life when I had one thing to do all day, but I still couldn’t get…
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If camping is so great, why are the bugs always trying to get in your house?
See all 99 quotes by Jim Gaffigan »
More Baby Quotes
This quote is filed under Baby Quotes,
one of 5,122 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Apart from anything else, I am designed by evolution, like we all are: if we see a little thing like…
— David Attenborough
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A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her…
— Enid Bagnold
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There is a 'sanctity' involved with bringing a child into this world: it is better than bombing one out of…
— James A. Baldwin
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I talked about adopting a baby when I was 20 years old, before it became 'hip.'
— Tyra Banks
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It's not like I want to hop on a bandwagon, because I said it 15 years ago - bringing a…
— Tyra Banks
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It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why…
— Dave Barry
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If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you…
— Dave Barry
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I feel like some of my baby fat is going away, and that's not just physically, it's psychologically. I think…
— Drew Barrymore
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There is no dream of love, however ideal it may be, which does not end up with a fat, greedy…
— Charles Baudelaire
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I have no TV, thank God. I haven't heard anything about Tom Cruise, except that he had a baby, I…
— Emmanuelle Beart
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
— Milton Berle
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Having a baby takes so much from you. It's the most glorious thing you'll ever do, but the aftermath is…
— Halle Berry
See all 5,122 Baby Quotes »