"I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I……" — Dylan Moran
"I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake?"
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Dylan Moran
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121 Quotes by Dylan Moran
Dylan Moran has 121 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Vodka! That's a child's drink, why am I drinking this stupid drink, oh and why am I on a traffic…
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Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.
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You know, just sometimes in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of cornershop…
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A man does not know how he came by the half a pie he is holding in his hand!
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I don't have lungs anymore! Just two spare bags that flew in under a bridge one day.
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When did you ever hear of a child not in need? 'Oh that's enough jam tart for me, I'll just…
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You know it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks 'Daddy, are these organic?'
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If you covered a broom handle with oil and shoved it up my arse, then put me on a trampoline,…
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I'm a vegetarian, well I'm not hardcore because I eat meat, but only because I like the taste, and I…
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I need a healthy injection of cynicism right now.
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Tequila? It's not even a drink. It's a way for having the cops around without using a phone.
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I used to live with two other guys. We used to cook two things. The first one was called 'cheese...…
See all 121 quotes by Dylan Moran »
More Comedy Quotes
This quote is filed under Comedy Quotes,
one of 2,637 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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One of my favorite things about 'Star Trek' wasn't just the overt banter but the humor in that show about…
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When I was a kid, among the other embarrassing things I would do, and there's a list of stupid things,…
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You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
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Monty Python crowd; half of them came from Cambridge, and half of them came from Oxford. But, there seems to…
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Comedy, drama, Westerns, sci-fi... it's all fine if the story's compelling and the character is interesting to me. I do…
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Don't get me wrong, there are sometimes if I go and see a really funny comedy, that I wished I…
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The only thing I would unequivocally say is that I have never had any interest in romantic comedy I just…
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I will never say never, but I will say never to doing the more typical romantic comedies. You know, unless…
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In terms of the romantic kind of lead, I just never enjoy those movies very much. Maybe they'll come to…
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I would never say never to returning to comedy.
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By the time I finished comedy, I was really burnt out of it. I had had enough. I don't really…
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I loved comedy all my life. I think it's a real powerful art form.
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See all 2,637 Comedy Quotes »