"The easiest way to make a fruitcake is……" — Dave Barry
"The easiest way to make a fruitcake is to buy a darkish cake, then pound some old, hard fruit into it with a mallet. Be sure to wear safety glasses."
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Dave Barry
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508 Quotes by Dave Barry
Dave Barry has 508 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
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Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
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Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
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Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the…
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The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management…
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'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.
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The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look…
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We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out…
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The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
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The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
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Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers…
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Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only…
See all 508 quotes by Dave Barry »
More Buy Quotes
This quote is filed under Buy Quotes,
one of 3,458 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Actually I am very glad that people can buy Armani - even if it's a fake. I like the fact…
— Giorgio Armani
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I have been known to buy e-versions of my books because I was in a hotel room and I needed…
— Margaret Atwood
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Kids don't go out and buy CDs, they make their own, they download them from the Internet.
— Sebastian Bach
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The government has no business telling an individual what kind of light bulb to buy.
— Michele Bachmann
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Well, what did we buy? Instead of a leaner, smarter government, we bought a bureaucracy that now tells us which…
— Michele Bachmann
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That's one reason why it's pretty worthless, I can't totally buy it, if you think about it, it's things like…
— Lester Bangs
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I still think I'm like the poor girl from Colorado who worked three jobs to buy a car. That's still…
— Amy Adams
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They allow us to disrespect our Black woman. A lot of these things would be considered criminal if it were…
— Afrika Bambaataa
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I am lucky, that is all. Lucky because there are a lot of people - producers, directors, people who buy…
— Antonio Banderas
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You know when you first get rich, and you, like, just buy everything that you see? I did that for…
— Roseanne Barr
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America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up…
— John Barrymore
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Don't try to buy at the bottom and sell at the top. It can't be done except by liars.
— Bernard Baruch
See all 3,458 Buy Quotes »