"I didn't become a comedian to work this…" — Chelsea Handler

"I didn't become a comedian to work this hard."

— Chelsea Handler

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107 Quotes by Chelsea Handler

Chelsea Handler has 107 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

First of all, who cares if people hate you? There's always a guarantee that certain people will dislike you. There's…
It's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to…
I had an abortion when I was 16. Because that's what I should have done. Otherwise I would now have…
Sometimes, Chelsea, I wonder, how you get by from day to day. It's a good thing you're so voluptuous.
I'm not that shallow, asshole. I don't need money. It's way more important for them to be good-looking.
Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator,…
My whole life is reading tabloid magazines. It’s really sad, because that’s what my show is all about — what…
Paris Hilton has launched a new champagne in a can called Rich Prosecco. For the ad campaign Paris posed wearing…
Paris Hilton is one of the hosts for Nicole Richie’s baby shower, and they’re serving sushi. Awesome, Paris—sushi, the one…
Thanksgiving is coming. I wonder what the holiday will be like at Dog the Bounty Hunter’s house—obviously, they’ll have a…
A Catholic priest who’s been sending threatening notes to Conan O’Brien was charged with stalking in the fourth degree. It…
Angelina Jolie’s older brother James Haven, the one she made out with, has a license plate on his SUV that…

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More Comedian Quotes

This quote is filed under Comedian Quotes, one of 484 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

I don't think I was a good comedian. — Brigitte Bardot
I say I'm the only serious comedian in the presidential race. And I'd like to take this opportunity to ask… — Roseanne Barr
When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be… — Roseanne Barr
As a standup comedian, I've worked almost every New Year's Eve of my adult life. It's the best-paying night of… — Elayne Boosler
I wasn't funny as a kid. I remember enjoying comedians, but I never understood it was a job choice or… — Elayne Boosler
There are many comedians who are afraid to work outside the coasts and the casinos because they're afraid they'll bomb. — Elayne Boosler
It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm… — Elayne Boosler
The comedian sticks as religiously to her theme as a dancer sticks to a diet. — Jo Brand
Christians have always been fodder for comedians who have tended to portray them as anoraks - slightly clammy, beatifically smiley… — Jo Brand
Even though my father was a radio comedian, it wasn't cool to say, at a young age, 'I want to… — Albert Brooks
I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do. — Lenny Bruce
The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds. — Lenny Bruce

See all 484 Comedian Quotes »