Well Two Quotes by Emo Philips

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Emo Philips has 82 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

• I'm not a fatalist; even if I were, what could I do about it?
• I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'
• People always ask me, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alibi.
• My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often.
• England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'.
• If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee - that will do them in
• I'm filthy stinking rich - well, two out of three ain't bad.
• I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me…

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