Penis Quotes

116 Penis quotes by 65 unique authors

Pay him some attention, he's smart and he's genius. He ain't touching me like Martin Sheen's penis. — Earl Sweatshirt
At the bar: Man: what to hear a story about my penis? oh nevermind its too long. Women: hmm I was going to tell you… — Jessica
This aint a penis, this a LONG DICK! — Kevin Hart
I ain't got time fo a muhfuckin' penis. Gettin' dirty money pockets I could not dream bitch. — Honey Cocaine
Medically during an erection all the blood form the brain goes to the penis...so in conclusion males are stupid during an erection...they have no idea… — Unknown Author
I felt like Justin Bieber with ginger hair and a bigger penis. — Ed Sheeran
I named my penis Cybertron. Because when he transforms, you are fucked. — Unknown Author
My wife let me get a transgender housekeeper. To have just one other penis in the house. — Adam Sandler
Nature knew what she was doing when she figured out the penis and the cunt. — Adam Carolla
99.9 percent of the time I will talk to anyone who comes up to me, and I am super nice. But, as soon as your… — Jenna Marbles
Just because I text // talk to you, doesn't mean I wanna insert my penis in your vaginal canal. Vagina isn't hard to get on… — Unknown Author
One day I want to be walking home in a thunderstorm after a one night stand it's pouring rain, thundering and lightning, and a lightning… — Mitchell Sakundiak
Okay seriously.. to all you girls out there, after you give a blowjob to us don't try and kiss us alright? Your breath smells like… — Mitchell Sakundiak
That awkward moment when your friends facebook wasnt hacked, he just really loves penis — Unkown
Now I have the footage that I want played at the Oscars In Memoriam when I die: either the scene where I was painted gold,… — Joe Manganiello
He has a toenail on the end of his penis. — Bill Brasky
I just wrote all over my penis. I can't wait to get in another argument so I can put words in your mouth. — Zach Taylor
Instead of looking down on that guy online showing you his penis, you should applaud him for having so much confidence. — Prince Shawn
Owning a gun is your constitutional right, but that doesn't mean you should do it. The constitution also gives you the right to dip your… — Guy Code
Yo girlfriends a penis eater, I swear she's a people pleaser. — Gucci Mane

Who Wrote These Penis Quotes

65 authors contributed a total of 116 Penis Quotes, led by these top contributors: