Penis Quotes

116 Penis quotes by 65 unique authors

When a man's dick(penis) stands, his brain takes a French leave. — Anthony Ugwuoke
The Lingerie Football League is changing their name to Legends. No more lingerie. They will play in bra and panties instead. It's a sad day… — Rudy Espinoza
Life is like a penis, if it gets harder, just fuck it.... — Unknown Author
I hope that pussy warmer than luke. And sweet as Godiva. Suck this dick and swallow that nut and call it Penis colada. — Lil Wayne
Ok I am willing to get Circumcised. The surgical removal of the foreskin from my penis, if that is what it will take to get… — Glen Rambharack
If you have a son, you only have to worry about one penis. If you have a daughter, you have to worry about every penis… — Nikhil Saluja
My girlfriend just caught me blow drying my penis, when she asked me what I was doing, apparently heating your dinner was not the right… — Uknown
When a monkey nibbles on a penis, it's funny in any language. -Alan — The Hangover 2
It does not matter the size of a guy penis, as long as a girl love you in her mind, she will have an orgasm… — Glen Rambharack
It does not matter the size of a guy penis, as long as a girl love you in her mind, she will have an orgasm… — Glen Rambharack
Just know that penis is foundation of life! — Junior DÃ¨ RÃ¨Ã¡l Testament
I named my penis truth, coz bitches can't take it. — Nikhil Saluja
In the 19th century a man with 2 penises and woman with two vaginas were a living couple. — Muniir Zero
I texted my girlfriend a picture of my flaccid penis. I just wanted to let her know I was thinking about her. — Nikhil Saluja
BRB Have to run to the toilet, but I'll be back in two shakes of a man's penis. — Nikhil Saluja
Make sure all open sores on penis have thoroughly dried and scabbed over before use. — Nikhil Saluja
Penis goes in , sperms cums out. — Nikhil Saluja
Being in the friend zone is like being a teddy bear. NOTICE that there is no penis on a teddy bear. — Nikhil Saluja
Statistically 60% of people use their mobile phone to cheat on their partners. Personally I prefer to use my penis. — Nikhil Saluja
Both my girlfriend AND wife are out of town this week! Time to go find some lucky lady to nibble on my penis. — Nikhil Saluja

Who Wrote These Penis Quotes

65 authors contributed a total of 116 Penis Quotes, led by these top contributors: