Joke Quotes

1327 quotes by 1003 authors

If life a joke then Iâ€™m waiting for the punch. You all about the beef but me, Iâ€™m bout the bun. — Mac Miller
I suspect that Jesus spoke many of his parables as a kind of sad and holy joke and that that may be part of why… — Frederick Buechner
A lot of comics aren't their on-screen personas; Chris Rock isn't always ranting and raving. What I do is make myself this over-the-top character that… — Billy Eichner
I think for a lot of people, bowling is sort of a joke. But I love it, and it means a lot to me, so… — Chris Hardwick
If you do a joke that's really old, then what happens is people on Reddit and Twitter just go, 'Real original, you're just doing old… — Chris Hardwick
I'm definitely not gonna make a joke about separating the whites and colours, so don't try to make me. So instead, I'll just say something… — Toby Turner
Gweneth [sic] Paltrow is a joke. Her life is like taking bullets for a soldier. What a joke! My 2 sons serving in the military… — Cindy McCain
I had a lot of bad jobs but the one big internship I had is I interned for 'SNL' when I was 21 years old… — Jake M. Johnson
If mankind is naturally good, he is sure going against his nature more and more of the time. It sounds like a bad joke: the… — Herbert Gold
I have a new joke today. Martha Stewart's on suicide watch. They had to unplug all of her ovens. — Rip Taylor
You have to make a joke every 10â€“15 minutes. Itâ€™s a way of keeping up morale. — Silvio Berlusconi
The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same joke and still feel lonely. — Thomas Stearns Eliot
A good mathematical joke is better, and better mathematics, than a dozen mediocre papers. — John Edensor Littlewood
I used to joke that one of the reasons there was a lack of classical work on my CV was because I couldn't operate in… — Bill Nighy
Write a smart joke and people want to talk about it and keep the dialogue going. Also, if you can make someone laugh, it's a… — Lizz Winstead
People really do identify with the characters they see on the show, but these days, social media allows you to interact with fans in a… — Chris Carmack
A college joke to cure the dumps. — Jonathan Swift
God's great cosmic joke on the human race was requiring that men and women live together in marriage — Mark Twain
Even if the painting is green, well then! The 'subject' is the green. There is always a subject; it's a joke to suppress the subject,… — Pablo Picasso
Surrealism can only deliver a reactionary judgment; can make out of history only an accumulation of oddities, a joke, a death trip. — Susan Sontag

Who Wrote These Joke Quotes

1,003 authors contributed a total of 1,327 Joke Quotes, led by these top contributors: