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Girlfriend Quotes by Anthony Jeselnik
- This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance that all I wanted was an Xbox. That's it. Beginning and end of list,…
- My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person... so I can get a better girlfriend.
- My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend.
- My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet…oh my god, that f**king thing would never shut up. But the bird was cool.
- I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer… but no one will do it.
More Girlfriend Quotes
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- Whether you're throwing up or breaking up, you want your girlfriend right there! I don't trust women who don't go to their… — Drew Barrymore
- Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. — Joseph Addison
- Girls had never been important. I'd had a girlfriend or two and had liked them a lot but it wasn't love, because… — Boris Becker
- I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love. — Henry Ward Beecher
- At first I was always cast as the girlfriend. It was a long time before I got to play characters who were… — Jacqueline Bisset
- I am a hopeless romantic and I love to spoil my girlfriends. — Orlando Bloom
- When I was nine, I had this girlfriend and we used to have running races in the park. I wanted to be… — Orlando Bloom
- When you love someone all your saved up wishes start coming out. — Elizabeth Bowen
- Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life. — Leo Buscaglia
- My wife - I married my onscreen girlfriend from 'Growing Pains', Mike Seaver's girlfriend, and we've been married for 17 years -… — Kirk Cameron
- I moved from Cleveland to L.A. with a girlfriend, we broke up, and I lived out of my car for a year… — Drew Carey