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Funny Valentines Day Quotes by Matt Groening
1 Funny Valentines Day quote by Matt Groening
More Quotes by Matt Groening
Matt Groening has 157 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:
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Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?" Homer: "Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.
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The next time you are contemplating a decision in which you are debating whether or not to go for the gusto, ask…
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Today is the first day of the rest of your short, brutish existence as a sentient creature before being snuffed out into…
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When you're as important as I am, getting your feelings hurt by me is almost an honor.
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If people only knew how much I secretly hated them, they'd love me for holding it in.
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I don't mind sharing the blame if she'll just admit she started it.
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How can I be expected to love someone who tries such crude manipulations as bringing me breakfast in bed?
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I'm not going to stop torturing myself till I figure out the cause of my pain.
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I was very disturbed when Jesus found a demon in a guy, and he put the demon in a herd of pigs,…
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Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life be without it?
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Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
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How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out…
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More Funny Valentines Day Quotes
Popular Funny Valentines Day quotes from across the collection:
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When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if…
— Natalie Clifford Barney
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A man is only as good as what he loves.
— Saul Bellow
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A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years.
— Rupert Brooke
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Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.
— Lord Byron
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Oh here's an idea: let's make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine's Day.…
— Jimmy Fallon
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Ever have that one friend who gets a Valentine's Day gift for their mother? Doens't that freak you out a little? It's…
— Unknown Author
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The jewelry stores say, 'Tell your wife you love her with a diamond,' while wives tell you they love you with, 'Ok,…
— George Lopez
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I love Valentine's Day. When you're a kid everyone gets a Valentine. It's like 'TO TIM, NICE PANTS, LOVE SCOTT'. It's Valentines…
— Mike Birbiglia
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Today, folks, should be all about love. Unless you're old.
— Stephen Colbert
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Love is just a chocolate substitute.
— Melanie Clark Pullen
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Basement smells bad. Look for cat poops, change litter.
— Martha Stewart
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Sex, unlike justice, should not be seen to be done.
— Unknown Author
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