Matt Groening Quotes
157 quotes
in 2058 categories
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Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?" Homer: "Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.
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The next time you are contemplating a decision in which you are debating whether or not to go for the gusto, ask yourself this important…
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Today is the first day of the rest of your short, brutish existence as a sentient creature before being snuffed out into utter nothingness for…
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When you're as important as I am, getting your feelings hurt by me is almost an honor.
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If people only knew how much I secretly hated them, they'd love me for holding it in.
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I don't mind sharing the blame if she'll just admit she started it.
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How can I be expected to love someone who tries such crude manipulations as bringing me breakfast in bed?
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I'm not going to stop torturing myself till I figure out the cause of my pain.
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I was very disturbed when Jesus found a demon in a guy, and he put the demon in a herd of pigs, then sent them…
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Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life be without it?
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Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
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How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain.…
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I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.
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Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.
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If something is too hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio,…
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Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
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I'm a level 5 vegan, I don't eat anything that casts a shadow.
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I'm a writer who just happens to draw
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American culture has a lot of great moustaches in its history. Mark Twain had a great moustache, Charlie Chaplin, Ben Turpin ... but Zappa, he's…
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The amazing thing about Freak Out! was that there was nothing quite like it in rock 'n roll at the time. It was really simultaneously…
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