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Great Funny Sayings by Unknown Author

1,049 Funny quotes by Unknown Author

• Gray is a crown of splendor: it is attained by a righteous life.
• If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse.
• My breath is offensive to my wife; I am loathsome to my own brothers.
• When the powerful horses went out, they were straining to go throughout the earth. And he said, "Go throughout the earth!" So they went throughout…
• Do not eat anything you find already dead. You may give it to an alien living in any of your towns and he may eat…
• Theres one good thing about snow, it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbors.
• The sun is gonna rise tommorrow.
• I think, therefore I am. I'm pink, therefore Im spam.
• Whenever I want a really nice meal, I start dating again.
• I was dating a guy for a while because he told me he had an incurable disease. I didn't realize it was stupidity.
• Odds on meeting a single man: 1 in 23; a cute, single man: 1 in 429; a cute, single, smart man, 1 in 3,245,873; when…
• People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.
• An engineer is someone who washes his hands before going to the toilet.
• Stop partying everyday ,, you will become like me
• Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run.
• Running is a big question mark that's there each and every day. It asks you, 'Are you going to be a wimp or are you…
• Wanna know something cool! press +w to get a thumbs up from ur compuetr screen
• The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money.
• Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue. God make me beautiful. What happened to you?
• YEAH BUDDAY
• When life hands you lemons, screw it, do you honestly know how to make lemonade?
• A woman broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed together. Solution? I sent them to her…
• Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they…
• Hahaha;funny females, get funny ass wopens
• Having a sister is like having a best friend you can't get rid of. You know whatever you do, they'll still be there.

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