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Funny Quotes by Sam Ewing
- A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the…
- In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to 'Until debt do us part'.
- Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.
- As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it.
- Wouldn't you like to weigh what it says on your driver's license?
- Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.
- Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
- Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.
- The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at a cocktail bar.
More Funny Quotes
- We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
- I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
- Age appears to be best in four things; old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and… — Francis Bacon
- I find a lot of things kind of funny and I often say what's on my mind, and then get nine texts… — Kate Beckinsale
- To be free in an age like ours, one must be in a position of authority. That in itself would be enough… — Hannah Arendt
- There's nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it. — Billie Joe Armstrong