Sam Ewing Quotes

50 quotes in 641 categories

• Vacation: Two weeks on the sunny sands - and the rest of the year on the financial rocks.
• Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.
• It's not the hours you put in your work that counts, it's the work you put in the hours.
• Life begins as a quest of the child for the man, and ends as a journey by the man to rediscover the child.
• A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the…
• An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.
• Nobody's too fat - they're just too short.
• If you lend someone 20 dollars and never see that person again, it's probably worth it.
• When a husband says, "I run things in my home" he may mean the washing machine, the dishwasher and the vacuum cleaner.
• In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to 'Until debt do us part'.
• "Tell me, doctor, " said the patient, "when I stand on my head, the blood rushes to it. Why doesn't it rush to my feet…
• Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.
• The sight of home looks best after you've traveled hundreds of miles to get away from it.
• I try to figure my adjusted gross income, but no matter how I figure it, it's still gross.
• If you believe the past can't be changed, you haven't read a celebrity's autobiography.
• A neighbor will stand at your door talking for 20 minutes because she doesn't have time to come in.
• Ever notice that nothing changes the color of paint like putting it on a wall?
• The reason that so many of us cannot save money is because of our friends. They're always buying something we can't afford.
• Highways are full of careless drivers who are always too close in front of you.
• Nothing in the world can replace the modern swimsuit, and it practically has.

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