Sam Ewing Quotes

50 quotes in 641 categories

• A man can please his wife with a box of candy, surprise her with a bouquet of flowers, and make her suspicious with a gold…
• The trouble with giving advice is that others want to return the favor.
• As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it.
• Half of all home accidents happen in the kitchen, and the family has to eat them.
• President Herbert Hoover returned his salary to the government. His idea caught on, and now we're all doing it.
• Success is when your name is in everything but the telephone directory.
• Crime in the cities is very discouraging. Apartment house dwellers have locks, bolts, chains and bars on their doors. It takes a tenant longer to…
• Wouldn't you like to weigh what it says on your driver's license?
• When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother's Day.
• Youth is when you think you'll live forever. Old age is when you wonder how you've lived so long.
• If we are what we eat, why aren't we new, improved, fat-free, and light.
• Many trees could be saved if the government stopped printing tax forms.
• Two things help to keep one's job. First, let the boss think he's having his own way. Second, let him have it.
• We are all born into the world with nothing. Everything we acquire after that is profit.
• Don't drive as if you own the road; drive as if you own the car.
• On every commercial flight, the traveler is told, "Your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device". The question is, why doesn't the plane…
• The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.
• Parents who wonder where the younger generation is going should remember where it came from.
• There's no thief like a bad movie.
• Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.

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