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Funny Quotes by Psyche_Zeroh
- Lady Astor: If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea. Winston Churchill: Madam, if I were your husband, I'd drink it!
- What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
- What is your worst sin? My vanity. I spend hours before the mirror admiring my beauty. That isn't vanity, dear, that's imagination.
- You make me want to puke. (In a good way!)
- It's cute the way you ignore the red squiggly line under all of your words.
- Can't believe Google is cocky enough to start guessing after one letter.
- Life doesn't give me lemons anymore. Not after what happened last time.
- The earth is full. Go home.
- Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
- You know your childhood is pretty much over when you fall asleep on the couch, and wake up on the f*cking couch.
- Person: YOU GET ON MY F*CKING NERVES! Me: So you're gonna caps-lock me to death?
- If she's still able to walk to the kitchen after sex, you don't deserve a sandwich.
More Funny Quotes
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
- I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
- We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Age appears to be best in four things; old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and… — Francis Bacon
- I find a lot of things kind of funny and I often say what's on my mind, and then get nine texts… — Kate Beckinsale
- To be free in an age like ours, one must be in a position of authority. That in itself would be enough… — Hannah Arendt
- There's nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it. — Billie Joe Armstrong