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Funny Quotes by John Cleese
- If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking 'Do you want fries with that?'
- You don't have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life's about change.
- The English contribution to world cuisine - the chip.
- When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries to play as well.
- years ago we would have been burned for this. Now what I am suggesting is that we've advanced.
- Manuel will show you to your rooms - if you're lucky.
- A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed.
- Yes it's her husband. She hasn't got over it. Died thirty years ago.
- What have the Romans ever done for us?
- My hovercraft is full of eels.
- The main evolutionary significance of humor is that it gets us from the closed mode to the open mode quicker than anything else.
- Don't let anyone tell you what you ought to like...
- And now for something completely different . . .
- What's the bleedin' point?
- Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - please try to understand before one of us dies
- How to defend yourself against a banana
More Funny Quotes
- We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
- I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
- Age appears to be best in four things; old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and… — Francis Bacon
- I find a lot of things kind of funny and I often say what's on my mind, and then get nine texts… — Kate Beckinsale
- To be free in an age like ours, one must be in a position of authority. That in itself would be enough… — Hannah Arendt
- There's nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it. — Billie Joe Armstrong