John Cleese Quotes

119 quotes in 1323 categories

• I think that money spoils most things, once it becomes the primary motivating force.
• For me, the great problem growing up in England was that I had a very narrow concept of what God can be, and it was…
• Sci-fi has never really been my bag. But I do believe in a lot of weird things these days, such as synchronicity. Quantum physics suggests…
• Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited.
• God was treated like this powerful, erratic, rather punitive father who has to be pacified and praised. You know, flattered.
• England is a fairly envious little country and it's embodied in the press. They don't like anyone being more distinguished than they are.
• I can never do better than Fawlty Towers whatever I do. Now I very much want to teach young talent some rules of the game.
• If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking 'Do you want fries with that?'
• Most of the bad taste I've been accused of has been generic bad taste; it's been making fun of an idea as opposed to a…
• If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?
• If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play.
• You don't have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life's about change.
• A wonderful thing about true laughter is that it just destroys any kind of system of dividing people.
• The really good idea is always traceable back quite a long way, often to a not very good idea which sparked off another idea that…
• I used to desire many, many things, but now I have just one desire, and that's to get rid of all my other desires.
• I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.
• A man will give up almost anything except his suffering.
• But then acting is all about faking. We're all very good at faking things that we have no competence with.
• He who laughs most, learns best.
• The English contribution to world cuisine - the chip.

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