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From Quotes by Nikhil Saluja
- Learned from my dentist that mouthwash is actually useless(you can't commit suicide with it)
- Real ninjas don't hide from their problems.
- The fart is coming from....inside your pants
- I just puked and some inspirational tweets came out. Now I know where some of you get your tweets from!
- When will it be acceptable to walk away from someone after they reach their 140 character limit?
- Sometimes you gotta take a break from Twitter and sit back and wonder if Leonardo DiCaprio was dreaming at the end of Inception or not
- You gotta make sure your good morning text is nothing like the one's she gets from other dudes. A simple Good morning :) is not…
- I'm such a bad friend when it comes to communication like if you don't try to contact me you won't hear from me for months…
- Mobile phones do not get you close to people, it just takes you away from the ones sitting next to you
- I want to meet myself from someone elses point of view.
- Experiment: testing the '9 lives' theory. First attempt: cat not moving after throwing it from the roof. Conclusion: theory is false
- Everybody is tweeting from work. No wondering why the world economy is going down the drain.
- You know you're drunk when you hear Look! That guy's so drunk he can't even walk! coming from a dude in a wheelchair.
- Leaving hairs on a toilet seat is like a little gift, from one ass to another.
- You had me at what do you want from McDonalds?
- That awkward moment when you watch an animated movie from your childhood, and finally understand all the dirty jokes.
- Some ideas suffer from premature ejaculation.
- Someone just stopped me to say that he recognized me from twitter and now I'm writing my suicide note.
- I hate the word 'followers' so from now on I'm going to call you guys my 'troops'
- Not sure if you should cheat on your wife with the hot chick from work? Let your dick make the decision for you.
- Could I touch your belly button . . . from the inside?
- I'm bored. Maybe I should leave the house and check twitter from somewhere else.
- My girl came down from taking a bath, gave me a wink and said, I shaved and you know what that means? I said, The…
- My car broke down outside Pizza Hut last night. So I ordered a pizza to be delivered to my house and got a lift from…
- I just recieved a restraining order from my toilet.
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More From Quotes
- Total loyalty is possible only when fidelity is emptied of all concrete content, from which changes of mind might naturally arise. — Hannah Arendt
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- No cause is left but the most ancient of all, the one, in fact, that from the beginning of our history has… — Hannah Arendt
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- From heresy, frenzy and jealousy, good Lord deliver me. — Ludovico Ariosto
- As far as we are concerned, we are ready to leave today, tomorrow, at any time, to join the people of Haiti,… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Haiti, Haiti, the further I am from you, the less I breathe. Haiti, I love you, and I will love you always.… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
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- At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. — Aristotle