Facebook Status Quotes

1247 Facebook Status quotes by 341 unique authors

When a woman agrees to give her husband head for no reason --- there is a reason. — Nikhil Saluja
My cock got caught in my zipper today....at least that's what I'm telling my wife when she sees the teeth marks on it. — Nikhil Saluja
I just made this girl's day by blocking her on twitter. — Nikhil Saluja
S.C.H.O.O.L = Seven crappy hours of our life. C.L.A.S.S = Come late and start sleeping. F.I.N.A.L.S = Fuck, I never actually learned shit. — Harriet Morgan
I really want to send some food to Hungary. — Nikhil Saluja
I have to get up pretty early in the morning to steal newspapers. — Nikhil Saluja
There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it! — Nikhil Saluja
I've been banging my head against this wall for hours trying to figure out where all this blood is coming from! — Nikhil Saluja
How about this, you remove Funny/Model from your bio and let me be the judge of that. — Nikhil Saluja
I always start my diet on the same day. Tommorow! — Nikhil Saluja
To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff, you lick it. To get it in,… — Nikhil Saluja
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. — Nikhil Saluja
Men are more likely to be struck by lightening than women. That means no storms occur in a kitchen. — Nikhil Saluja
If you push your brother down the stairs, he will become your step brother. — Nikhil Saluja
If I'm what I eat, then why isn't me saying meow? — Nikhil Saluja
My girl went away for the weekend, and I didn't masturbate once. I masturbated 21 times. — Nikhil Saluja
If you separate the whites and the colored clothes during laundry, you're a racist. — Nikhil Saluja
Three Things to Love.. Purity, Honesty and Hard work. — Nikhil Saluja
Three Things to Coltivate... Courage, Cheerfulness and Contentment. — Nikhil Saluja
Three Things to Maintain.. Promise, Friendship and Affection. — Nikhil Saluja
Three Things to Control... Tounge, Temper and Temptation. — Nikhil Saluja
Three Things to Watch.. Speech, Behavior and Action. — Nikhil Saluja
Three Things to Prevent... Laziness, Falsehood and Slander. — Nikhil Saluja
If the loser keeps his smile, the winner will loose the thrill of victory. — Nikhil Saluja
Love is a finger in the butt. — Nikhil Saluja

Who Wrote These Facebook Status Quotes

341 authors contributed a total of 1,247 Facebook Status Quotes, led by these top contributors: