Facebook Status Quotes

1247 Facebook Status quotes by 341 unique authors

Ladies, Don't worry - if you haven't found the man of your dreams yet, there's always a vibrator. — Nikhil Saluja
Note to self: Thanks for always being there. — Nikhil Saluja
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single FUCK THIS. — Nikhil Saluja
Men are simple creatures. 99% of their problems can be solved with sex, sandwiches, or both. — Nikhil Saluja
The most powerful force in the universe is women gossiping. — Nikhil Saluja
When getting divorced remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. — Nikhil Saluja
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, then we can be good friends. — Nikhil Saluja
A girl lets you watch porn. The woman helps you make up. — Nikhil Saluja
NASCAR : The most exciting sport for people who have never seen a fucking freeway. — Nikhil Saluja
The only thing a woman wants people saying behind her back is nice ass. — Nikhil Saluja
I just killed a spider and there's blood everywhere because the spider was on my wife's face. I'm a murderer, guys. — Nikhil Saluja
Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me. — Nikhil Saluja
BRB Have to run to the toilet, but I'll be back in two shakes of a man's penis. — Nikhil Saluja
When I said What did I do this time? I really meant What did you catch me doing? — Nikhil Saluja
Life Insurance: A contract that leaves you poor while you live so you can die rich. — Nikhil Saluja
Nurse: A woman that wakes you up in the middle of the night to give you sleeping pills. — Nikhil Saluja
If I were a girl, I'd despair . The suppy of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them. — Nikhil Saluja
The only thing I have learned in thirty years is that women want men to stop asking dumb questions like that. — Nikhil Saluja
I'm the only man who has a marriage license made out To Whom It My Concern . — Nikhil Saluja
The best thing that can happen to a couple married for fifty years or more is that they both grow nearsighted together. — Nikhil Saluja
I have always considered myself an expert on women's liberation . In the last fifteen years ,I have given two their freedom myself. — Nikhil Saluja
You can't be a little bit unfaithful any more than you can be a little bit pregnant. — Nikhil Saluja
In some countries being president is just an honorary position --like being a husband in Hollywood. — Nikhil Saluja
Absence makes the heart go yonder. — Nikhil Saluja
Everything is uncertian this might be your last breath this might b mine right now is all that is here right now is all life… — Onyeulo Amarachi

Who Wrote These Facebook Status Quotes

341 authors contributed a total of 1,247 Facebook Status Quotes, led by these top contributors: