Facebook Status Quotes

1247 Facebook Status quotes by 341 unique authors

It's like something out of that twilighty show about that zone. — Nikhil Saluja
Without our immigrants, who will kick our field goals, or train our white tigers? — Nikhil Saluja
Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to… — Nikhil Saluja
How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain What's His Name? We live in a society… — Nikhil Saluja
Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they shoot bees at… — Nikhil Saluja
You're saying butt-kisser like it's a bad thing! — Nikhil Saluja
Well, let's just call them, uh, Mr. X and Mrs. Y. So anyway, Mr. X would say, 'Marge, if this doesn't get your motor running,… — Nikhil Saluja
Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked. — Nikhil Saluja
Extended warranty? How can I lose? — Nikhil Saluja
Hey, I asked for ketchup - I'm eatin' salad here! — Nikhil Saluja
I'm trying to fix your mother's camera. Easy, easy - Hmmm. I think I need a bigger drill. — Nikhil Saluja
Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. Like this Bible. It cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this… — Nikhil Saluja
God bless those pagans. — Nikhil Saluja
Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that. — Nikhil Saluja
When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power - like God must feel when he's holding a gun. — Nikhil Saluja
I hope I didn't brain my damage! — Nikhil Saluja
Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and... um... Oh, wait a… — Nikhil Saluja
Now, Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel. — Nikhil Saluja
Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-Tip! — Nikhil Saluja
I am so smart, I am so smart, S M R T, I mean S M A R T. — Nikhil Saluja
Sweetie, if you opened a book more times than you opened your legs,you might actually get somewhere in life. — Nikhil Saluja
I lost my charm when I thought I had any. — Nikhil Saluja
I never knew you could offend someone by masturbating. This couple just opened their closet and they look really pissed. — Nikhil Saluja
For all my haters, I just want you to know that there's no medicine for insecurities so better commit suicide! — Nikhil Saluja
What a beautiful day to walk around my city, staring at my phone. — Nikhil Saluja

Who Wrote These Facebook Status Quotes

341 authors contributed a total of 1,247 Facebook Status Quotes, led by these top contributors: