Change Quote by Brené Brown
““When we apologize for something we’ve done, make amends, or change a behavior that doesn’t align with our values, guilt—not shame—is most often the driving force. We feel guilty when we hold up something we’ve done or failed to do against our values and find they don’t match up. It’s an uncomfortable feeling, but one that’s helpful. The psychological discomfort, something similar to cognitive dissonance, is what motivates meaningful change. Guilt is just as powerful as shame, but its influence is positive, while shame’s is destructive. In fact, in my research I found that shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we can change and do better.””
About This Quote
Source Book: Dare to Lead, Brené Brown, 2018
Guilt, unlike shame, signals a mismatch between actions and values, prompting corrective change; shame undermines belief in improvement.
In simple terms: Guilt motivates positive change, shame hinders it.
Key Takeaway
Use guilt as a catalyst for growth.
Themes
values
psychology
personal development
ethics
self‑improvement
Mood
reflective
motivational
empathetic
Type
advice
psychological
inspirational
When to use this quote
- conflict resolution
- relationship repair
- leadership
- habit formation
Key Concepts
cognitive dissonance
self‑awareness
behavioral change
Questions to Reflect On
- How can you differentiate guilt from shame in a situation?
- What steps turn guilt into constructive action?
A Different Perspective
Shame can also motivate change in some contexts, making guilt not universally superior.
