Will Rogers Quotes

640 quotes in 4778 categories

• You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people.
• If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven.
• A conference is just an admission that you want somebody to join you in your troubles.
• We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.
• I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!…
• Elections are a good deal like marriages. There's no accounting for anyone's taste. Every time we see a bridegroom we wonder why she ever picked…
• We fed 'em Xmas and New Years; now all the poor have to do is just fill the few meals until next Xmas
• You've got to be (an) optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one
• Be a politician; no training necessary.
• In Washington, one man could do what ten of them do. Things kinder run themselves, anyhow.
• Politicians are dumb, but they can count to 50% plus one.
• More men have been elected between Sundown and Sunup than ever were elected between Sunup and Sundown.
• Both political parties have their good times and bad times, only they have them at different times.
• They are each good when they are out, and each bad when they are in.
• We elect our Presidents, be they Republican or Democrat, then start daring 'em to make good.
• In Europe public men do resign. But here it's a lost art. You have to impeach 'em.
• There's no way in the world you're going to make a political party respectable unless you keep it out of office.
• Foreign relations is an open book-- generally a checkbook.
• It is awful hard to get people interested in corruption unless they can get some of it.
• A politician is just like a pickpocket; it's almost impossible to get him to reform.

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