All P.J. O'Rourke Quotes
- Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year. All
- Dating is the social engagement with the threat of sex at its conclusion. Conclusion
- Politics is the business of getting power and privilege without possessing merit. A politician is anyone who asks individuals to surrender part of their liberty… Anyone
- God has no role to play in politics except to make sure politicians go where they belong. To hell. Belong
- You can't get something for nothing. Everybody remembers this except politicians. Everybody
- Intelligence collection has been given an additional bureaucracy to correct the problems created by too much bureaucracy in intelligence collection. Additional
- The purpose of the Senate is to keep 100 middle aged knuckleheads out of the private sector where they can do real harm. Aged
- I try to ONLY ridicule people who's efforts are sincere. Very little trouble has been caused in the world by insincere efforts. An occasional seduction… Been
- The American political system is like fast food - mushy, insipid, made out of disgusting parts of things and everybody wants some. American
- I'm a registered Republican and consider socialism a violation of the American principle that you shouldn't stick your nose in other people's business except to… American
- Anything that makes your mother cry is fun Cry
- Who does Bill Clinton think got off the boat and stepped on Plymouth Rock? Peace Corps volunteers? Bill
- I believe that Western civilization, after some disgusting glitches, has become almost civilized. I believe it is our first duty to protect that civilization. I… Become Almost
- The real slums are another matter. The bad parts of Tondo are as bad as any place I've seen, ancient, filthy houses swarmed with the… Ancient
- You'll note that politicians no longer spend money, they invest it. Don't worry about paying more to the [IRS]. You aren't being taxed; you're taking… Fly
- Man developed in Africa. He has not continued to do so there. Africa
- Health care is too expensive, so the Clinton administration is putting a high-powered coporate lawyer - Hillary - in charge of making it cheaper. (This… Administration
- You can't get good chinese takeout in China and cuban cigars are rationed in Cuba. That's all you need to know about communism. All
- To grasp the true meaning of socialism, imagine a world where everything is designed by the post office, even the sleaze. Designed
- Coffee and cigarettes are much better if you want an instant breakfast. Better
- One nice thing about the Third World, you don't have to fasten your seat belt. (Or stop smoking. Or cut down on saturated fats.) It… Average
- Never Refuse Wine. It is an odd but universally held opinion that anyone who doesn't drink must be an alcoholic. Alcoholic
- A woman should dress to attract attention. To attract the most attention, a woman should be either nude, or wearing something as expensive as getting… Attention
- The interesting thing about staring down a gun barrel is how small the hole is where the bullet comes out, yet what a big difference… Barrel
- Well the planet I've got a chance to visit is Earth, and Earth's principal features are chaos and war. I think I'd be a fool… Chance