All Mark Twain Quotes
- Man has been here 32,000 years. That it took a hundred million years to prepare the world for him is proof that that is what… Age
- God made all the animals in a single day; he could have swept them all away in the flood and re-created them in one day… All
- Baseball is the very symbol, the outward and visible expression of the drive and push and rush and struggle of the raging, tearing, booming nineteenth… Baseball
- Where are there are two desires in a man's heart he has no choice between the two but must obey the strongest, there being no… Any
- You may say organize, organize, organize; but there may be so much organization that it will interfere with the work to be done. Hard Work
- We can secure other people's approval, if we do right and try hard; but our own is worth a hundred of it, and no way… Approval
- The institution of royalty in any form is an insult to the human race. Any
- I never smoke to excess - that is, I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time. Cigar
- Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. Die
- It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. All
- Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. Boat
- Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. Age
- Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. Astonish
- All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. All
- It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse races. Alike
- The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. Cat
- I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. Education
- I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any. Any
- The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven. Heaven
- There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. American
- Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. Certain
- How lucky Adam was. He knew when he said a good thing, nobody had said it before. Adam
- I never let schooling interfere with my education. Education
- Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul. Careless
- Happiness is a Swedish sunset; it is there for all, but most of us look the other way and lose it All