All Mark Twain Quotes
- I have criticized absent people so often, and then discovered, to my humiliation, that I was talking with their relatives, that I have grown superstitious… Absent
- There are only two types of speakers in the world. 1. The nervous and 2. Liars. Liars
- There is nothing like instances to grow hair on a bald-headed argument. Argument
- The reason most people don't go to church is because they've already been. Been
- One compliment can keep me going for a whole month. Christian
- Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink - under any… Act
- I'm pushing 60 years of age...and that's enough exercise for me. Age
- The frankest and freest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter; the writer gets his limitless freedom of statement and expression… Expression
- Those that respect the law and love sausage should watch neither being made. Law
- The human race was always interesting and we know by its past that it will always continue so, monotonously. Always Continue
- Pessimism is only the name that men of weak nerve give to wisdom. Give
- A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom when he can no longer be led by the nose. Dizzy
- Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven. Care
- I repeat, sir, that in whatever position you place a woman she is an ornament to society and a treasure to the world. As a… Almighty
- I wrote 'Tom Sawyer' and 'Huck Finn' for adults exclusively, and it always distressed me when I find that boys and girls have been allowed… Access
- In all the ages the Roman Church has owned slaves, bought and sold slaves, authorized and encouraged her children to trade in them. . .… Age
- The poetry is all in the anticipation, for there is none in reality. All
- Each of you, for himself, by himself and on his own responsibility, must speak. Each
- Patriotism is merely a religion-love of country, worship of country, devotion to the country's flag and honor and welfare. Country
- My kind of loyalty was loyalty to one's country, not to its institutions or its office-holders. Country
- When the doctrine of allegiance to party can utterly up-end a man's moral constitution and make a temporary fool of him besides, what excuse are… Allegiance
- If all men were rich, all men would be poor. All
- I begin to see that a man's got to be in his own heaven to be happy. Begin
- And always we had wars, and more wars, and still other wars - all over Europe, all over the world. "Sometimes in the private interest… Aggressor
- I found out that I was a Christian for revenue only and I could not bear the thought of that, it was so ignoble. Bear