All Mark Twain Quotes
- Progressive improvement beats delayed perfection. Beats
- A person who has a cat by the tail knows a whole lot more about cats than someone who has just read about them. Cat
- The piano may do for love-sick girls who lace themselves to skeletons, and lunch on chalk, pickles and slate pencils, but give me the banjo. Banjo
- In the South the war is what A.D. is elsewhere; they date from it. Date
- What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it. Been
- Note that venerable proverb: Children and fools always speak the truth. The deduction is plain: adults and wise persons never speak it. Adults
- There are 869 different forms of lying, but only one of them has been squarely forbidden. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. Bear
- Never tell a lie-except for practice. Except
- Heaven knows insanity was disreputable enough, long ago; but now that the lawyers have got to cutting every gallows rope and picking every prison lock… Ago
- But we are all insane, anyway. Note the mountain-climbers. All
- Really, what we want now, is not laws against crime, but a law against insanity. That is where the true evil lies. Crime
- Once I talked to the inmates of an insane asylum in Hartford. I have talked to idiots a thousand times, but only once to the… Asylum
- No one is sane, straight along, year in and year out, and we all know it. Our insanities are of varying sorts, and express themselves… All
- ...we all know that in all matters of mere opinion that [every] man is insane-just as insane as we are...we know exactly where to put… Adversaries
- The average American may not know who his grandfather was. But the American was, however, one degree better off than the average Frenchman who, as… America
- What is there that confers the noblest delight? What is that which swells a man's breast with pride above that which any other experience can… Any
- Your actions speak so much louder than words. Action
- The work that is really a man's own work is play and not work at all. All
- When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma. Dog
- What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth. No smallest atom of our moral, mental, or physical structure can stand still a year.… Atom
- A public library is the most enduring of memorials, the trustiest monument for the preservation of an event or a name or an affection; for… Affection
- I was a-trembling, because I'd got to decide, forever, betwixt two things, and I knowed it. Betwixt
- [Do you worry unnecessarily about the future? Remember most fears are just False Evidence Appearing Real. Don't let unfounded fears rob you of the joys… Actually Happened
- There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it can destroy bad principles and recreate… Bad
- My advice to girls: first, don't smoke - to excess; second, don't drink - to excess; third, don't marry - to excess. Advice