All Mark Twain Quotes
- Truth is neither alive nor dead; it just aggravates itself all the time.... Aggravates
- If there was two birds sitting on a fence, he would bet you which one would fly first. Bet
- When all is said and done, the one sole condition that makes spiritual happiness and preserves it is the absence of doubt. Absence
- Circumstances make man, not man circumstances. Circumstances
- The primary rule of business success is loyalty to your employer. That's all right as a theory. What is the matter with loyalty to yourself? All
- The man who is ostentatious of his modesty is twin to the statue that wears a fig-leaf. Fig
- Always do what's right. That will gratify some and surprise the rest. Gratify
- Whenever he was out of luck and a little down-hearted, he would fall to mourning over the loss of a wonderful cat he used to… Cat
- Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. Training is everything. The peach was… Almond
- If men bore children, there would only be one born in each family. Bore
- Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs. Bacon
- In religion, India is the only millionaire... the One land that all men desire to see, and having seen once, by even a glimpse, would… All
- Tell me about a person's family, friends, and community, and I'll tell you what his opinions are. Community
- Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval - a thing which, to the general run of the human race, is more dreaded than wolves… Afraid
- You can't make a life over. Society wouldn't let you if you would. Funny
- Suppose . . . burglars had made entry into this . . . [library]. Picture them seated here on this floor, pouring the light of… Absorbing
- Out of the public schools comes the greatness of the nation. Education
- This morning arrives a letter from my ancient silver-mining comrade, Calvin H. Higbie, a man whom I have not seen nor had communication with for… Allow
- Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you. Family
- This is the fairest picture on our planet, the most enchanting to look upon, the most satisfying to the eye and spirit. To see the… All
- There are those who would misteach us that to stick in a rut is consistency - and a virtue, and that to climb out of… Climb
- I can't do no literary work for the rest of this year because I'm meditating another lawsuit and looking around for a defendant. Defendant
- He charged nothing for his preaching and it was worth it too. Charged
- I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating. Inspirational
- The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card. Brings