Best Ellen DeGeneres Lines
- I know that every time I list something that I am, I am potentially alienating a whole group of people. Publicists and managers will encourage… Alienating
- I've been trying to find women writers for my staff for a while now and I have three women on my staff and three guys… Been
- I've moved about 10 times over the past 15 years. I don't move for the sole purpose of getting rid of stuff. I'm not crazy.… Any
- My dad is still Christian Scientist. My mom's not, and I'm not. But I believe in God, and that there's a higher power and an… Believe
- No matter how popular you are as a stand-up - you can go out and fill a 10,000-seat arena and be smart and funny -… Arena
- People are constantly asking Portia and me if we are going to have children. We thought about it. We love to be around children after… Around Children
- There would be nothing to get me to run for president. I don't even understand how anyone would want that job at all. Although I… Able
- Trying to get the talk show, looking back on it, we had to beg a lot of station managers to pick up the show because… Beg
- The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that… Aliens
- I'm so unfamiliar with the gym, I call it James! Call
- Procrastinate now, don't put it off. Funny
- You know, radio DJ's must really love to talk to theirselves. Especially when they have the graveyard shift. 'Hey this is Ellen with 89.1. It… Car
- And now I've got to explain the smell that was in there before I went in there. Does that ever happen to you? It's not… Bad
- Have you ever heard somebody sing some lyrics that you've never sung before, and you realize you've never sung the right words in that song?… All
- Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a… Antlers
- I don't need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I'm going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want… Achieve
- Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. Procrastinate now, don’t put it off. Don T
- Our attention span is shot. We've all got Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD or OCD or one of these disorders with three letters because we… Add
- Baloney is just salami with an inferiority complex. Baloney
- Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log. Fireplace
- Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen days. Ask
- One time I actually cleaned out my closet so good I ended up on the cover of Time magazine. Cleaned
- Dan: 'Ah, well, I hope this didn't have anything to do with me.' Ellen: 'No, not unless you played Cat Woman in Batman. Ah
- I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon. Buns
- When life gives you lemons....they could really be oranges. Gives
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