Ellen DeGeneres Quotes

260 quotes in 3339 categories

• Sometimes when I am driving I get so angry at inconsiderate drivers that I want to scream at them. But then I remember how insignificant…
• It was so important for me to lose everything, because I found out what the most important thing is, which is to be true to…
• I had no intention of becoming a comedian. I just wanted to make people happy. I tried everything-I shucked oysters, I painted houses, I sold…
• Portia and I have been married for 4 years and they have been the happiest of my life. And in those 4 years, I don't…
• You can always tell when the relationship is over. Little things start getting on your nerves, 'Would you please stop that! That breathing in and…
• The way I see it... If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you're doing, then your brain should probably be in…
• It feels good. Kinda like when you have to shut your computer down, just sometimes when it goes crazy, you just shut it down and…
• I'm glad I'm funny. I'm glad I make people happy, because that's very important. But I'm proud to be known as a kind person.
• I'm going to be kind, because then it all just kind of spreads, and the world is a little nicer out there.
• Procrastination isn't the problem. It's the solution. It's the universe's way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast.
• You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled.
• Something big happened over the weekend. Something that affects everybody, all over the world. George Clooney got married.
• We're told to go on living our lives as usual, because to do otherwise is to let the terrorists win, and really, what would upset…
• I look at anything in nature and how things work-the stars, the pyramids-and I can't imagine that there's not some kind of design to it…
• I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. Its been about two months since…
• I think what saved me is me being honest. I think I somewhow had the courage to do something and say something that I knew…
• It's such an honor to receive the Mark Twain Prize. To get the same award that has been given to people like Bill Cosby, Tina…
• I'm not going to say who looks the most beautiful, but it's clear. It's Jared Leto. I mean, he's the prettiest. Boy is he pretty
• I personally chose to go vegan because I educated myself on factory farming and cruelty to animals, and I suddenly realized that what was on…
• We're just trying to find happiness in the bodies and minds we were given, like everyone else.

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