Stop saying athletes do it for the love of the game. They do it for the love of their 32-room mansion with… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If the Hamas people had the opportunity, they would kill the maximum number of Israelis, which would be all. And, Israel has… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people have warned President Clinton that Bosnia will turn into another Vietnam, which would be embarrassing for him because… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
It would be kind of a tragedy if we got to the end of four years of Democratic rule without having really… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The shame would be if Democrats get thrown out of office without ever having tried Democratic policies. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
It's going to be Perry, it's going to be Romney...It's sort of a battle for the soul of the Republican Party -… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If anybody is so mad at Vladimir Putin, you know what they could do? They could advocate for a gas tax. He… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The House okayed the gasoline tax cut, which will increase the deficit, line the pockets of the oil companies, and hurt the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Republicans say that sex is bad, because with them it always is. It is!...I'm sorry, but they're just doughy, asexual, wonky, white… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we stopped calling it profiling and started calling it "proactive intelligence screening" or "high alert detecting", people would be saying "Well,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
One of the reasons I still do stand-up is because it was so hard in the beginning that I feel like it… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
