I have a T-shirt that says, Plays Well With Self. It suits me (or at least the top half). — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
Inside every fat person is a thin person struggling to get out. Sometimes as many as two or three. — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
I now have a new reason for living. It is my life's goal to make my girlfriend laugh so hard that she… — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
Last year the vet told me my dog was getting old and I should put her down so I started calling her… — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
I've never belonged to any group that didn't have at least one member who wasn't a total dick. — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
How come nobody ever talks about getting the long end of the stick? How can you even tell which end is which? — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
My New Year's resolution this New Year was not to make any New Year's resolutions. I already blew it. — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
It wouldn't be nearly as much fun if everyone walked a mile in my shoes. There'd be like arms and legs, peckers… — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
How can I tell if someone is pretty on the inside without looking in all of her orifices? — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
You'll make more friends with a blunt rock than with a kind word. Or not. — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
I've never belonged to any group that didn't have at least one member who wasn't a total dick. — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
No greater invention was ever devised for creating the delusion of productivity than the personal computer, except for religion. — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
Banning guns, drugs, alcohol, premarital sex, political incorrectness, and gay marriage hasn't worked. We should ban Life. So long as even one of us… — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
If it shuffles like a zombie, stinks like a zombie, and moans like a zombie, make sure it isn't your mom, then shoot it… — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
The first part of preparedness is awareness. Without it, you are toast. — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
How come nobody ever talks about getting the long end of the stick? How can you even tell which end is which? — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
Music is the timeline of my life. It reminds me of where I have been, who I was with, what I was doing, and… — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
Character matters most. It will outlast physical beauty, athleticism, intelligence, and since you can't take it with you, prosperity. — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
I have no more fear of death than I do of going to sleep. I have no psychotic, PMSing, invisible tyrant in the sky… — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
