I suppose, just as an honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never knew you could offend someone by masturbating. This couple just opened their closet and they look really pissed. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, FAITHFUL, That man who is married to a trusting wife (a definition that can be either truthful or cynical) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't have a great sense of humor, but I do have a great sense of nonsense. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Let's say you have $1,000,000 tied up in your little company and suddenly your advertising isn't working and sales are going down.… — Rosser Reeves Copy Share Image
Good girls say no Bad girls say when? Naughty girls don't say anything, they just moan and scream a lot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate it when I do something like a ninja and there is nobody around to see! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Usually when people see me, they see me as more of the soft-spoken one rather than being the witty, smart-tongued character. — Amy Acker Copy Share Image
Now, Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Tears running down my face like rain, who would have ever thought that love would come with so much pain. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Kevin", his father began, "I've been thinking about it – I guess I was kind of carried away. It's just that I've… — Failte Copy Share Image
A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings. — Irvin S. Cobb Copy Share Image
If you're going to be a smartass first you have to be smart, otherwise you're just being an ass! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Given a choice between hearing my daughter say "I'm pregnant" or "I used a condom", most mothers would get up in the… — Joycelyn Elders Copy Share Image
Howard Zinn was magical as a teacher. Witty, irreverent, and wise, he loved what he was teaching and clearly wanted his students… — Alice Walker Copy Share Image
There are only 2 things wrong in family reunion. The family thing & The reunion thing. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Funny how it's always the woman with fake hair, fake nails, fake eyelashes, fake boobs....that have the audacity to scream Girrrrrrrrl ain't… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A legal custom which turns a man into the captive audience of his wife; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
