ProTip: Tell a girl she has nice lips and shell suck your dick right then and there. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If someone makes you feel wrong-footed, you're unlikely to find them witty. — Rosamund Pike Copy Share Image
“Skul-man!' he exclaimed as he rushed forward to shake his hand. 'Last I heard you were trapped on a dead world overrun… — Derek Landy Copy Share Image
People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they don't want it. — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
Grave authors say, and witty poets sing, That honest wedlock is a glorious thing. — Alexander Pope Copy Share Image
My mother was against me being an actress - until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra. — Angie Dickinson Copy Share Image
Everything deep is also simple and can be reproduced simply as long as its reference to the whole truth is maintained. But… — Albert Schweitzer Copy Share Image
It is better to be loved rather than feared, or feared rather than loved? It might perhaps be answered that we should… — Niccolo Machiavelli Copy Share Image
Big Data is like teenage sex: everyone talks about it, nobody really knows how to do it, everyone thinks everyone else is… — Dan Ariely Copy Share Image
Any one who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin. — John von Neumann Copy Share Image
I once arm wrestled the Incredible Hulk. The loser had to paint himself green. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
God gave us the miracle of life - sustaining water, & we turned it into Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi & Vodka. Good job, Morons. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
