Witty Quotes · Page 17

Is there some thought being given to subsidizing the clearing of rainforests in order for some countries to eliminate that production of…

— Dana Rohrabacher

The great joke is that a realist is an optimistic pessimist. That's very witty. Whether it's truthful or not, that I don't…

— John Hurt

Broken hearts, love's deceit, pieces fall down to my feet. Broken promises, love's a lie, puddles form from the tears I cry.

— Nikhil Saluja

My heart's in the right place. I know, 'cuz I hid it there.

— Carrie Fisher

K-Y jelly is the safeword.

— Nikhil Saluja

2013, still no flying cars instead, twitter with assholes.

— Nikhil Saluja

I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.

— Groucho Marx

“Remember what you won't get if you don't mind," her grandfather remarked.”

— Flannery O'Connor

I'm in my zone so leave me alone.

— Nikhil Saluja

When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows.

— Frederick Bushnell Ryder

I only do one thing at a time; otherwise, I get confused and then I can't trick you.

— Judy Sheindlin

CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

— Nikhil Saluja

Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk…

— Groucho Marx

Me: Your face must turn a few heads. She: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

— Nikhil Saluja

The kiss, a sweet discovery of oneself after a long search.

— Nikhil Saluja

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite.

— Les Dawson

You must be a math problem because you're annoying and difficult. I don't wanna solve your problems for you.

— Anonymous

COMMUNISM : You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk.

— Nikhil Saluja

No matter how Poor you think you are., If you have A Family, you have Everything & Rich.

— Nikhil Saluja

You have to remember that actors are human beings. Which is hard sometimes because they look so much better than human beings.

— Tina Fey

A lot of women don't like to give blow jobs. On a related note: A lot of marriages fail.

— Nikhil Saluja

Ask and you shall receive does not apply to ugly people.

— Nikhil Saluja

You're my ex. That means I no longer owe you any answers. Don't worry about who I'm with now. It's not you.

— Anonymous

HUSBAND, HENPECKED, A species of worm which is afraid to turn;

— Nikhil Saluja

NASCAR : The most exciting sport for people who have never seen a fucking freeway.

— Nikhil Saluja