I don't clean toilets and I'm not all about breakfast, because I'm usually not up early enough. — Tori Spelling Copy Share Image
The only thing I use the Rolling Stone for is toilet paper when I run out. — Neal Schon Copy Share Image
As with marathon runs and lengths of toilet paper, there had to be standards to measure up to. — Haruki Murakami Copy Share Image
Are you really going to let a toilet stand in the way of you and financial independence? — Robert Kiyosaki Copy Share Image
If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under. — Al Yankovic Copy Share Image
She cleans a toilet inside and out under a minute. More like terrifying — Becca Fitzpatrick Copy Share Image
Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush. — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
I'm like toilet paper, toothpaste and certain amenities - I'm proven to be good. I've still got 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 years left. — Shaquille O'Neal Copy Share Image
When I got my Oprah money, the first thing I bought was a really nice electronic bidet toilet seat. It just feels… — Zach Anner Copy Share Image
It's now come out just before his record-breaking 100-meter dash, gold medalist Usain Bolt ate at McDonald's. Apparently he timed his meal… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
“The reason is that even in a fantasy there is nothing even remotely erotic about a toilet bowl. In fact, considered as… — Helen DeWitt Copy Share Image
If his drunkenness had legs, it would be Alexander the Great and conquer the known world. Then it would puke for a… — Richard Kadrey Copy Share Image
There comes a time in every man's life when he wakes up drunk on the toilet and begins to doubt the choices… — Paul Neilan Copy Share Image
If you stepped out of the shower and saw a leprechaun standing at the base of your toilet, would you scream, or… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I had made this mistake once before, on a school trip to the Victoria and Albert Museum, when I followed a sign… — David Nicholls Copy Share Image
I think drugs played a big role in the Taboo scene. People were taking copious amounts of ecstasy, which had filtered over… — Boy George Copy Share Image
I have been asked so many times why I live a green life, why water conservation, why getting wells in places, why… — Alysia Reiner Copy Share Image
Gambling is so pervasive in Nevada that maybe the state should just go the whole hog. There'd be gum machines that dispensed… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In a way, both the U.S. media and those wacky rioters in the Afghan-Pakistani hinterlands are very similar, two highly parochial and… — Mark Steyn Copy Share Image
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Before you rip off three feet of toilet paper, consider that each year 500,000 acres of virgin boreal forest in northern Alberta… — Alex Shoumatoff Copy Share Image
You've got the whole stuff with transgender toilets and stuff like that - that's no way for a government to behave. We're… — Irvine Welsh Copy Share Image
Surely it is one of the requisites of a tasteful garb that the expression of effort to please shall be wanting in… — Elizabeth Stuart Phelps Ward Copy Share Image
There is an apocalyptic view to this that is actually kind of appealing, which is the only way to kill big government… — Greg Gutfeld Copy Share Image
A cruel joke has been played on us. We are fated always to remember what we learned but never to recall the… — Jo Coudert Copy Share Image
The Merchant, to Secure His Treasure The merchant, to secure his treasure, Conveys it in a borrowed name: Euphelia serves to grace… — Edgar Allan Poe Copy Share Image
