At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
You spend a lot more time on your own as an only child. And there's space to allow your imagination to take… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
If you're going to perform, you're going to attract criticism. You can't please everyone all the time. You don't know how things… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Aldous Huxley took the drug mescaline and then chronicled his experience in the book The Doors of Perception. Now, I don't actually… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
You have to go to Scotland at all times of the year - in order to appreciate the times when the sun… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I met Amy Winehouse a few times and she was always funny, charming and self-deprecating - just a delight to be around. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
There was an existential moment - I don't know if I want to call it crisis - when I turned 50 and… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
A lot of the time, you need to find the right home for ideas. You know, sometimes you think 'oh this'd be… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
It's a lovely moment when everyone's part of something greater than the sum of its parts. That encapsulates what a comedy gig… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I realised that the 'future' is different to how I imagined it. When I was a kid I thought it would be… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
This was my attempt to deter cold callers: "There's no past, there's no future, just one pulsating present... Please leave your message… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Riding a horse and using a phone camera is tricky but if you don't take pictures or record the moment, you lose… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
At school, I was bored with the teachers, and there were moments where I felt they were singling me out. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
We are almost in a time beyond jokes, beyond satire. When the Trump era is called the 'post-truth' period, then this is… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Comedy can be quite all consuming at times, and if you're not careful you end up doing a tour, then a DVD,… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Not so great in England at the moment; in an online poll we came last, we actually came bottom of European countries… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I did a show in this tiny town called Longyearbyen. We went snowmobiling around Svalbard and saw Arctic foxes, snow bunting, polar bear footprints… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I hate getting ill, it irritates me so I try to stay reasonably healthy. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
There is something very poignant about plastic bags. These lonely plastic bags that gradually disintegrate. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I am pretty laid-back as a parent, but I do like a lot of activity. So I am constantly suggesting things to do that… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I don't think any comic could say there isn't a bit of them that doesn't want to show off. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!! — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
